There are so many things swirling and storming in my mind and heart, it would be impractical to try to put them into one post. If I don’t write some of it down, though, I feel as though it will all burst out with no rhyme or reason. If you’ve read any of my other posts, you probably know in What and Whom I place my faith and hope. Whatever your convictions and beliefs, I beg of you to take a really long look at all our world is processing and witnessing, and to consider your own heart.
Of course, the tragedy in Connecticut hit me hard in a number of ways. Newtown is mere miles away from where I was born and grew up until I finished high school. I have friends there who are living, working, and grieving right in the center of what happened. A friend’s mom is the school superintendent. Another friend is connected to at least six victims. Though over a thousand miles away, this event feels so very close to home. The victims were about the same age as my son.
My husband sat L down two days after the event and explained what happened, so that he could hear it from us first. They prayed together; my husband tearing up as he thanked God for our family and prayed for those who are mourning. Little A saw her brother and daddy praying and asked why. All her 3-year old ears needed to hear at that time was that they were praying for people who are very, very sad, and who need to know how much Jesus loves them.
I don’t dare delve into the hot political issues surrounding these terrible events. What I will say, is that now more than ever, we must pray for our children. We can’t protect their little bodies from getting sick or hurt; we can’t go everywhere with them; we can’t live life in a bubble. There has been a growing heaviness in my heart, that I know is echoed in the hearts of others, that this generation of children will see troubles and trials unlike any in our nation’s recent history.
The Bible tells us that there is a spiritual battle going on, in which the enemy will do everything possible to win over minds and hearts, to steal them away from God. God desires that all should know Him–for who He truly is–and that none should perish apart from Him. I also know that no one is without sin–this means that there is nobody on the face of this earth who has never done something wrong. All of us are deserving of God’s wrath. He owes us nothing, but He gave us everything. God is a Father who saw His own son suffer and die, though that son had done absolutely nothing wrong. He bore the weight of our wrongs, so we could be right with God. What looked like the end (when Jesus died on the cross), was really a new and eternal beginning.
My heart truly aches over what happened. I will probably have tears in my eyes for a very long time every moment I drop my 7-year old off at school, or see my children so full of life when others had to say goodbye. No one can consider these horrible events and walk away unmoved. Everyone has paused. We pause, we grieve, as we should. As we pause, as we heal, let us humbly examine our hearts. As we consider ourselves, let us also consider our nation, our world. Our world is groaning. We need more than laws, programs, or politics. I know that my own heart is in desperate need, daily (even hourly) for something beyond itself to produce “good fruit”. I am indeed awake and listening!